NOCTURN

To Rosario

                        I

Well then! I must say to you
that I adore you,
Say that I love you
with all my heart;
That I suffer
and cry aplenty,
That I can’t bear this much;
and this imploring scream,
Implores you and seeks you out,
on my last illusion’s behalf.

                        II

I want you to know
that for many days now,
I’ve been ill and pallid
with sleeplessness;
That my nights are dark,
so dark, and somber,
That all my hopes
have perished,
That I’ve lost track even
of whence the future rose.

                        III

At night, when I lay
my temples on the pillow
And towards another world
my soul seeks to return,
I walk much, so much,
and at the journey’s end,
My mother’s forms
become lost in nothingness,
And your image
to my soul returns.

                        IV

I understand your kisses
shall never be mine,
I understand that in your eyes
I shall never see myself;
And I adore you,
and in my mad and burning deliriums
I bless your disdain,
and your deflections love,
For instead of adoring you less thereby,
my love for you further grows.

                        V

And at times I wish to confer
to you my eternal farewell,
Erase you from my memory,
and from this passion flee;
But all in vain,
for the soul cannot forget you;
Bit of my life,
what would you have me do,
What would you have me do
with this heart of mine?

                        VI

And then,
after the shrine was finalized,
Your burning flambeau,
your veil on the altar,
And the morning’s sun
behind the bell tower,
The sparkling torch,
the smoking censer,
And already in the distance,
the home’s doors opened wide…

                        VII

How beautiful it would have been,
for both of us
To have lived united
and enamored underneath that roof;
You always loving,
and I always satisfied,
Both of us one breast,
both of us a single soul,
And between us,
my mother like a God.

                        VIII

Imagine how beautiful
the hours of life would have been!
How sweet and gorgeous
our terrestrial journey
In likewise manner would’ve been!
And I dreamed of that,
my sweet betrothed;
And hallucinating in so much,
with a rattled soul,
I thought of being good for you, only you.

                        IX

God knows that was
my most gorgeous dream,
My desire and my hope,
my elation and my bliss;
God knows that I figured
all my determination
In naught else but to love you
in that joyous home
Which enveloped me
in its kisses from my birth!

                        X

That was my hope…
but since the deep abyss
That divides us
opposes its scintillating light,
Good bye for the last time,
love of my life;
Light of my darkness,
my flowers’ essence;
The poet’s lyre,
my very youth, good bye!